02 June 2008

Go Phish

Today I discovered that I have been an accessory to criminal activity on teh interwebs. Some bastard somewhere set up a web page on my site to scam personal information from unsuspecting fools.

Yes, I was a phisherman.

I don't know how long this fraudulent page for Halifax, plc, was up on my site, but I received an email today from "RSA, an anti-fraud and security company," who is "under contract to assist HBOS plc and its related companies including Halifax plc and The Governor and Company of the Bank of Scotland... in preventing or terminating online activity that targets HBOS’s customers as potential fraud victims." Basically it sounds like I was helping to rip off a bunch of old-age pensioners, like the muthah-effin' thug I am.

So instead of doing the things I should have been doing tonight - like getting laundry done and dishes washed and my apartment cleaned up somewhat in anticipation of the arrival of my Zeeba tomorrow - I ended up CHMODing files and rerouting directories and building databases to try and save my photo gallery while simultaneously thwarting the efforts of these scoundrels who aim to defraud feeble-minded little pensioners somewhere across the Atlantic. An evening well spent, I must say, with a napkin in my lap to catch the dripping sarcasm. The only way it could have been better would have been for Interpol to show up at my door and take me away for a little surreptitious torture, although the real torture would be that they took me away before I got to see Zeeba again.

(I don't know if I ever explained this, but Zeeba and I live 656 miles apart. This, in a word, sucks, especially given the shitty state of air travel these days. Besides poor service, delayed or cancelled flights, and lots and lots of trips to and from airports, we also get to spend fuckloads of money on airplane tickets. Good money, too, as the cost of travel to and from her little regional airport is quite dear. It just figures that I finally find the love of my life and she turns out to be geographically inaccessible. It's just like that Tantalus fellow, except I at least get a grape or two every once in a while. What I want to know is, where are the personal jetpacks we were all supposed to have by now? Hanna-Barbera lied to me!)

So, yes. That was my day.

And as I am now a phisherman who could use a little extra cash in order to see my girlfriend a little more often - and yet I am too lazy to clone some banking site and set up the php code to collect people's personal banking details - why doesn't everybody just go ahead and email me your account numbers, social security numbers, PIN numbers, passwords, and all that jazz. I promise to rob you blind - but for a good cause.

Because that is the kind of muthah-effin' thug I am.

The Last Five:
I heard it on the radio - 27 July 2008
Happiness is... - 26 July 2008
Do bears shit in the woods? - 21 July 2008
Politics schmoliticks - 14 July 2008
words and pictures - 14 July 2008

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